


Making Do

by Morgana



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:13:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2730287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy tries to find a way through the pain</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making Do

It was wrong, to use him like this. She should be handling this herself, should face her feelings and deal with them, but instead she crept into his arms and let him chase the bad thoughts away, if only for a little while. She didn't have to think about death here, didn't have to worry about the afterlife or consequences or the pain that was always waiting for her, just had to feel his hands sweeping over her body, his mouth moving down her throat, and his body sliding deep inside hers.

He was tender, gentle and careful with her, treating her like she was made of spun glass. A part of her cried out for something faster, harder, and rougher, but she knew he needed this. He needed to spin it out and make sure she was real, and since he was giving her what she needed, she wanted to return the favor, if only a little bit. So she lay back and let him caress her and kiss his way down her body, let him learn her by taste and feel and scent, and did her best not to think about the way she was using him.

She couldn't pretend he didn't love her, or ignore the way his eyes lit up when she walked into the room. She might not want to see it, might want to think that he was just interested in the pleasure her body could give him, but, as she'd once said, she couldn't lie to herself. Worse than this, though, was that he obviously thought she loved him back. He didn't seem to recognize how badly damaged she was, didn't look beyond the fact that she was there, in his bed, and in her rare regretful moments, she wondered if he'd ever forgive her when the truth finally came out, as she knew it would.

Hands stroked over her, making a silent demand that she readily gave in to. She shifted, opening to him, and was rewarded with an intimate kiss that made her moan and thrust her hips up against his mouth, her body demanding more. He complied, and soon she was writhing and gasping, clawing at the sheets as he sent her flying, giving her the respite she needed. This was what she'd wanted - just a little while that she didn't have to remember why she hurt so badly, a few hours that she could pretend she was okay and everything was as it should be. And if it took a vampire's touch to give her that, then she wasn't about to turn it away, even if she knew her friends would be horrified if they found out.

He drew the moment out as long as he could, obviously intent on making it as good for her as possible. Eventually, however, his own desire was too much for him to ignore, and then he was inside her, filling her with one stroke. They moved together, rocking and writhing on the bed, and if it wasn't what she really wanted, how she remembered it, then it was close, and that was enough. She cried out and clung to him when her climax washed over her, hoping he'd think the tears that trickled down into her hair were her body's reaction to the incredible sensations, and not her heart's screams of pain. He tasted the salt and pulled back, a question clearly written on his face, but she scratched her nails down his back, and he groaned instead, his body throbbing within hers as he gave himself over to pleasure.

Afterwards, he rolled onto his back and gathered her in his arms, settling her comfortably against his side. He didn't say anything for a while, either reliving the whole thing or afraid that she'd leave if he spoke, but eventually the words burst free. "I love you," he whispered against her hair.

She stayed silent, unable to offer him the words she knew he wanted. Her love was gone, had burned and fallen into the hole in the ground that used to be her home. All she had left of him were her memories of their time together, the black T-shirt she slept in, and his sire's embrace. And if her heart cried out for a different body beside hers in the bed, she'd never tell. She had this, and it would have to be enough.


End file.
